If you’re still up…
When you find yourself awake past midnight and you suddenly have thoughts of how you can plan your life out, or your intrusive thoughts get to win, and before you know it, it’s 3am. Sometimes, at around 2.30 to 3.40am, my eyes just open, and I will not be able to fall back asleep until 6am. Sometimes I pray, and most times I try to fall back asleep, but as a Christian, I am aware that more often than not, God needs me to pray, but my spiritual life is in shambles. I’m always starting over because I’m always stambling or losing track and consistency.
Tonight, I am awake at this time [12.49 am] because I was asleep for a better part of my evening, and now I am wide awake writing this blog post, and hopefully I will journal afterwards.
While I am up, I found a song called ‘The Altar’ by Elevation Rhythm. It reminded me of a time in my life where I was not able to open up to anyone; I therefore turned to the altar. At this point in my life, I had major trust issues with the people around me, and with good reason. I learned to run to God at all times; even if it seemed as though it was something small, I took it to the Lord in prayer.
Tonight, I find myself in a similar position, but in different circumstances. Tonight, I run to the altar because I actually know no one who can relate to what I am currently going through other than God. I suppose this is my season of working on my relationship with God deeper. A less transactional relationship.
The late-night question to think about tonight is, What’s taking you back to the altar?
