‘A lot can happen in a year’, a statement that has remained constant in my adulting life. If you had asked me about a year ago if I knew I would be here today, having gone through everything I have gone through, I would have said you’re lying. If you had shown me a preview of what was to come, I would have said it’s AI. In this case I do not know who ‘you’ are, but I am imagining a situation where the angel of the Lord appeared, and I trembled while he was telling me, ‘Do not be afraid.’ ‘ I would be absolutely terrified, not because of the message, but because I do not have Jacob’s audacity to fight an angel.
If you’re still reading, here is a rundown of what has been happening or, as influencers put it, here is a life update.
A time like this last year, I was in my seventh month as an unemployed adult in this economy. At some point I would just go ahead and tell people I am a stay-at-home daughter. to bypass the entire conversation of ‘What do you do for work?’ I had just turned 27, and I was trying to get out of the sluggish, sad girl phase that attempted to overshadow the celebration of life. Especially because a lot had happened the previous year, too.
HANNAH
If you’re a believer and you study the Bible as well, you might be familiar with the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel chapters 1 and 2. I found myself relating to her in so many ways. Especially when she was going to God and Eli thought she was drunk, but she was in anguish.
9 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. 10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving, but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” 15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied. “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
18 She said, “May your servant find favour in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
When I read her story, I found the words to express what was happening in my life at the time. A few weeks later, one morning I got up to an argument with my mother, and I remember already feeling sad and exhausted; that day I cried before I left my bed. In that moment, I was like Hagar; God saw me, and He heard me. Later that day, I received a call. I did not pick it at first because I was in the market. The same number called me a second time; this time I picked it up. We thank God I did, because today the person on the other side of the phone is now my boss.
If you can imagine, try to think how I felt. After months of applying and getting rejection emails and zero feedback. After waking up all those mornings and feeling like I had nothing to look forward to? After waking up that morning to tears and frustration, then God gave me my Samuel. The rest is history. I hope and pray that when you read this, you will be given an assurance that God sees you and He hears you and He will give you your Samuel. When He does, you will give God a prayer of triumph, like Hannah did. In all this, ‘I read somewhere that Hannah’s habit of prayer was less about her goodness and more about God’s greatness.‘
TO COME…
A major break-up and heartbreak, a wedding and a sudden visit from death later, here we are. Singing a song of gratitude and having a triumphant prayer just like Hannah. Perhaps I shall begin that daily journal after all, or else the children will never believe me.
Maybe there will be a part 2 because there is still so much more and a little inspiration on the side.
That’s it for now.
With love,
Mulai.
